Archana Patchirajan, founder of tech startup Hubbl, led a team of industry experts, highly experienced and sought-after engineers who could work anywhere they wanted. When she called them in to tell them that she had to let them go because they’d run out of funds, Patchirajan fully expected them to do just that. To leave. They refused, saying they would rather work for half their pay than abandon Hubbl… or her. The resilient company would soon sell for $14 million, and though Patchirajan is now thousands of miles from her staff in India, still, they will not leave her.
Why? Vulnerability.
Patchirajan possesses an uncommon ability to resonate with people, to let herself be known, and to know in return. On why they did not leave, her employees said: “She knows everyone in the office and has a personal relationship with each one of us,” “She does not get upset when we make mistakes but gives us the time to learn how to analyze and fix the situation,” and, “We all work as a family because she treats us as such.”
The paradigm shift in society and in the workplace over the last twenty years means that the traditional model of leaders presenting themselves as impenetrable, omnipotent, and omniscient no longer works. As leaders, can we let our guard down and be authentic? Be absolutely human, which means flawed, with each other? And, of course, how?
What Is Vulnerability?
Vulnerability is at the core of human connection. It is about letting yourself be known, prioritizing the knowing of other people beyond the surface, and making personal connections. We open ourselves up. While there is a misconception that vulnerability is a weakness or implies incompetence, it is, in reality, quite the opposite. It is the unflinching courage to be yourself, to ask for help, to know and to be known.
This type of transparency and authenticity is essential for leaders — because, as humans, we are programmed to read each in a highly nuanced way. It happens so quickly, and without conscious thought, that we don’t realize it, but our brains interpret subtle cues and our bodies respond. For example, when someone is angry but bottles it up and says they’re “fine,” our blood pressure still rises. We are uncomfortable.
We are especially attuned to cues from our leaders. When we resonate (or internally connect) with a leader, it fires up parts of the brain associated with social connection and positive emotion. On the other hand, when we don’t resonate with a boss —when we read their cues as inauthentic, nontransparent, or incongruent with their words — we become disengaged. It’s no wonder why engagement in the workplace is the exception rather than the rule.
As a leader, it is vital to know the importance of the role you play. How you are, what you do, the way you respond are all cueing, informing, and impacting the day-to-day life of your team – whether you intend to, or not.
The Payoffs of Vulnerability
While it can feel uncomfortable or foreign at first, our vulnerability as leaders humanizes us, builds and strengthens trust, increases collaboration, fosters a culture of forgiveness and growth, enhances decision-making, and reduces burnout and turnover. Research shows that the happiness and personal connection people get from their work cultivates more loyalty than the amount of their paycheck. As Archana Patchirajan’s team proves.
5 Practical Steps to Safely Practice Vulnerability In the Workplace
Now, how can you take practical steps towards something that seems to be intangible but, in fact, delivers very real results?
1. Create a Safe Space
Modeling vulnerability is the first step towards creating a safe space. It seems paradoxical, though, because we’re asking people to do what, in a lot of places, is unsafe in order to create a safe space. Trust is the foundation of any healthy team and healthy organization; vulnerability needs to be top-down. It starts with the leader. The CEO must be the trailblazer, clearing the way. She’s the first to admit she doesn’t have it all figured out; she admits that what happened last quarter was painful; she feels she is at fault and she’s sorry. Whatever the case, the leader opens herself up to the team.
2. Lead By Example
Returning to Archana Patchirajan. This leader spent years building personal connections with her team. She went to them, humbled and heartbroken, and told them she was out of money and out of ideas. This authenticity and vulnerability led to near-miraculous results — results that a “traditional” leader (always right, always in possession of the answers, always impenetrable — you know the type) could not have achieved.
The leader needs to set the pace and show the team that they are safe to say: “I need help.” “I messed up. How do I fix this? “I have issues in my personal life that affect my work.”
3. Ask Questions
Be curious. Ask questions. “Where did you grow up? What was your family like? What’s something that happened in your youth that has impacted you, even today? That’s shaped you?
You may be surprised at how teams react. When someone has the courage to be vulnerable, it influences others to do the same, to go deeper. So often we’re afraid that people are going to close up or make us feel terribly exposed. But the opposite is true: people tend to open themselves up more. Again, at first, in building this culture, this all starts with you. You are the trailblazer.
4. Value Vulnerability
This is not a “fake it till you make it” skill. Vulnerability must be real. You cannot pretend to be authentic — our built-in people-readers are too good at detecting what is and is not genuine. You must value vulnerability and practice it, creating a space where your team feels safe in doing so as well.
Again, the dynamic has shifted. For a leader to assert that he knows everything, has it all figured out, is just not believable. You can’t. No one can. Saying, “I don’t have it all figured out. Here are the questions we’re working on. We’re going to come up with our best solutions,” completely flips the script. It is reassuring to the workforce when a leader admits they don’t have all the answers, all the time. It’s authentic. It’s transparent. It’s human.
And yes, it’s vulnerable.
5. Let It Matter
Practicing vulnerability is not a grueling climb up a mountain. It is a commitment to changing behaviour. The faster you commit, and the more deeply you share that commitment as a team, the faster you will create safety and vulnerability. It is not unusual for us to hear clients say, “We’ve built trust and moved further in one day than we’ve been able to move in years.”
Vulnerability is a tremendous act of courage. The old model of a leader — show no weakness, admit no mistakes – has outlived its usefulness. The fear of being exposed as… human… must also transition out of the workplace in order to achieve and maintain organizational health. The leaders who will impact the future, for the better, are the ones who recognize this shift, do the work, and make the necessary changes. That includes you.
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